I grew up in a Mexican-American household. Although my family was a modern family with progressive ways of living, we were dedicated Catholics just the way most Mexican families are.
From a very young age, I remember the big role faith played in my family and in our overall daily lives. Faith was prominent in everything we did. I did not always understand why or how, but I always had this deep feeling inside of me that someone known as God had my back.
I grew up with what you would call ‘fear of God’. I believed in the superior power. I had faith that He controlled my life and all my blessings, but I did not know much about Him and I never attempted at a close relationship with Him.
At around age fifteen, I began distancing myself from church. I allowed church to fall behind in my list of priorities. I gained interest in fashion, my personal life and hanging out with friends. At the time, I thought whatever I had going on in my life was more important than God.
When I was sixteen, I became even more eager about fashion university. I spent a summer doing my research about all my different options and the idea suddenly hit me…why not study fashion in a different country? I thought about where I would want to go. Amongst my research, I found an outstanding university called International Fashion Academy. What made them great is the specific programs they taught and the fact that they offer a full scholarship to a lucky student.
Right away I knew this was the place for me. The courses in Fashion Marketing felt tailor-made for me. The scholarship was the driving factor. I knew without the scholarship, it would be nearly impossible for my family to make this happen.
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This is when I began coming before God daily and praying for this dream I had.
I was so eager to move to France. I felt like this dream was my baby and I wanted to see it through more than anything. It consumed my mind and my life. I was looking forward to my new life ahead of me.
So I applied for admission, then the scholarship and I waited eagerly. And I prayed fiercely. I knew that if this life were meant for me, that God would give it to me. So I did my best to remain patient and calm.
One day as I was leaving work, I checked my email, as I did nearly every five minutes waiting for some good news…this time I finally had the email waiting for me. It was from International Fashion Academy and they started by congratulating me…I won the scholarship that I was so desperately praying for.
That is when I remember looking up to the sky, I felt peace and I felt a presence tell me, “I told you, daughter. I love you. Congratulations”. I knew exactly who was speaking to me.
That entire summer leading up to my freshman year at International Fashion Academy was torture. I just wanted to be in Paris already. That was all I ever thought about. I was so eager to start this life in a city I had never visited before and to study what I was truly passionate about.
The day of my flight came around, September 20th 2016, and it was scary. All the emotions reached me that day, I really had no idea what I had gotten myself into. I began to contemplate everything, maybe I was not ready for this huge jump after all. My mom and aunts accompanied me to the airport and I tried to hold myself together.
My mother and aunts helped me with my bags and the entire check-in process.
I was terrified. The moment was approaching, closer and closer. Finally, it was the time to say goodbye into a completely unknown country and space. I said goodbye and I proceeded through customs all alone now. I was in distress. I kept seeing my mom's face and I wanted to run back to her.
I'll never forget that moment because all the doubt and fear of moving to a foreign country finally caught up to me. I could not stop crying and all I wanted was to turn back to Los Angeles and forget the whole Paris thing. I spent the entire 11 hour flight crying and panting. I prayed to God that this decision was not a mistake. At the time it had definitely felt like a mistake.
I arrived in Paris finally on September 21st, 2016. I did not know which way was up, down, left, right... That day marked the beginning of an extremely depressive period for me. I felt alone, scared, confused...I definitely felt that I had left home too soon. I thought maybe I was too young and naive to think I could actually succeed in the move.
After having lived in an Airbnb for ten days, I ended up staying in a youth hostel. I had no real home and had no idea what to do...
Then God's blessing arrived....
Katie, a classmate of mine shared with me that this nice French couple had hosted her for a week before she settled into her apartment. She told me that they would be glad to have me meanwhile I found an apartment for myself.
So I packed all my things and went to the couple's home. They were more incredible than I could have imagined.
Clement and Tatiana. Two dedicated Christians that opened their home to me, rent-free. From the very first day I felt God's love through them. They helped me learn to trust God, how to pray, how to deal with barriers that kept me from truly seeking God.
They were incredible in helping me get by the rough first few months in France.
They introduced me to their church, their faith, their group of friends and families, and it was really a new lifestyle for me.
From there I persisted in my search for God.
And my relationship and trust in Him grew as well.
And eventually in early December of 2016 I was born again as I said goodbye to my old sin, my old fears and the pain I carried from before.
God has shown me that I really needed to give up and let go of my past in order to live this incredible life He had waiting for me.
Everyday I still work towards knowing God more and more. His Word has helped me do so.
And a genuine belief and trust in Him...
His Love has saved my soul and my life. His Grace has set me apart and fulfilled my heart.
In September of 2017, I was baptized at Hillsong Paris. That day will forever mean so much to me.
It constantly amazes me what God has done in my life. My life is no where near perfect but once I released my life into God's Hands, I have been blessed immensely.
I finally learned exactly who I am. When I understand His love for me, His story for me...
I know that I am His daughter and I am beloved.
Ephesians 2: 4-8
Generosity of God's Plan
4 But God, who is rich in mercy, because of the great love he had for us, 5 even when we were dead in our transgressions, brought us to life with Christ (by grace you have been saved), 6 raised us up with him, and seated us with him in the heavens in Christ Jesus, 7 that in the ages to come he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. 8 For by grace you have been saved through faith, and this is not from you; it is the gift of God.
❤